Notice to the readers: artistic license was used in the writing of this article.

Author: Greetings from Somewhere-in-the-United-States! Today we have the honor of speaking with some of our great nation's presidents. Good sirs, would you kindly introduce yourselves to our readers?

Calvin Coolidge: Certainly Miss. I am Calvin Coolidge, 30th president of these United States and a native of the fair state of Vermont, formerly a lawyer.  I am honoured to be speaking with you today.

Dwight D. Eisenhower: (Raising an eyebrow at Coolidge) Sir, I believe you have misspelled the word “honored”. And it's Dwight D. Eisenhower, your 34th president and former General during World War II – at your service.

Andrew Jackson: It's a poor mind indeed that can't think of at least two ways to spell any word. Andrew Jackson. Seventh president. I killed a man in a duel once.
Calvin Coolidge: I do not believe that killing a man is something to be proud of. “Honoured” is the British spelling, Mr. Eisenhower.

Andrew Jackson: I was not expressing pride, merely stating a fact. I was led to believe that was the procedure; introduce yourself and state a fact.

John Adams: Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence. Hello, I am John Adams, your second president as well as the first vice president under George Washington.

Author: (shuffling through notes) Thank you, gentlemen. Let us go to our first question in our little interview; Mr. Coolidge, would you care to answer? The first one is a bit of a getting to know you – What is your favorite time of the year?

Calvin Coolidge: Hmm, now that is a good question. I don't know that I could pick a favorite, but Christmas certainly is a beautiful time. Though I really do not consider Christmas to be a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.

Dwight D. Eisenhower: Amen to that.

Author: Thank you for that, Mr. Coolidge. Mr. Eisenhower, how about you take this next question for us. Would you have any thoughts to share about being the president?

Dwight D. Eisenhower: Certainly I would. The first thing I have to say is, any man who wants to be president is either an egomaniac, or crazy.

Andrew Jackson: I resent that!

Dwight D. Eisenhower: Secondly, I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens.

Andrew Jackson: (mimicking Eisenhower) Amen to that. 

Dwight D. Eisenhower: In all seriousness, the task of President of the United States is a challenging one. In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought...the potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist.

Andrew Jackson: (nodding solemnly) I agree. There are no necessary evils in government.  Its evils exist only in its abuses. It is to be regretted that the rich and powerful too often bend the acts of government to their own selfish purposes. It is the duty of the president to attempt to guard against that from occurring.

Author: Those are both thoughtful words for us to keep in mind. Thank you, sirs. The next question I have here is – do you have any words of advice for our modern generation?

John Adams: (raising a hand) If I may... All the perplexities, confusion and distress in America arise, not from defects in their Constitution or Confederation, not from want of honor or virtue so much as from the downright ignorance of the nature of coin, credit and circulation. At the same time however, our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.

Calvin Coolidge: Indeed, my good Adams. I would like to add that little progress can be made by merely attempting to repress what is evil in the world. Our great hope lies in developing what is good. We do not need more intellectual power, we need more spiritual power. We do not need more of the things that are seen, we need more of the things that are unseen.

Author: That is a very powerful statement Mr. Coolidge. Thank -

John Tyler: (rushing in with a clatter) My deepest of apologies! I hope I am not too late!

John Adams: Er, and you are...?

John Tyler: Why, I am the tenth president - John Tyler!

Dwight D Eisenhower: Sorry, the name doesn't ring a bell.

John Tyler: I was president for five years! Right after William Harrison?

Andrew Jackson: Nope. Can't say that I have ever heard of you.

John Tyler: Alas, it as I have always thought: popularity may aptly be compared to a coquette – the more you woo her, the more apt she is to elude your embrace.

Author: I am afraid that is all the blog space we have for today gentlemen. Thank you all so very much for your time, as well as for your dedicated service to our country. 

John Adams: Anytime, of course. Well gentlemen, I am off to the bank to see if these rumors about that insufferable Thomas Jefferson being on a two dollar bill are indeed true.

Andrew Jackson: (following Adams out) I have always been afraid of banks...

All quotations from Brainy Quote.

Rose Dominick
Assistant Editor